After you read this, please post your comments. I am very interested in what you have to say. (By the way, I personally read all of the comments you make on my blog.)
My favorite personal development speaker, Jim Rohn, says that the number one gift you can give to someone else your is own personal development. He says not to say to someone, "I will take of you, if you take care of me" but rather, "I will take care of me for you and you take care of you for me."
That's a pretty profound philosophy.
Some people say, "This is just the way I am and there is nothing I can do about it." They believe that trying to make changes is not being "true to themselves" or that they are not being "who they really are." Believing that there is "nothing you can do" about making positive changes in your life is a false, limiting belief.
If someone is truly, happy with who they are, that's great. Oftentimes, this person is not truly happy and saying "this is just who I am" is an excuse for not wanting to go through the work of change.
My philosophy is that life is about becoming the best person you can be and growth. It's not about accepting the status quo but, rather, accepting who you are now as you strive to become the person you want to be. Yes, it requires work but the rewards - mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically - are worth it.
The key is making sure you are becoming the person you want to be and not the person someone else wants you to be. That is being true to yourself admist changes you are working to make.
So many people spend their entire lives trying to change to be someone other people want them to be. They try to please their parents, their spouse, their significant other, their friends, etc. They try to be what other people want them to be rather than working to be the person they want to be. This only leads to frustration, depression and the constant feeling of inadequecy.
The result, as Thoreau said, leads people to lead lives of "quiet desperation." Not only will they never become the person other people want them to be, but they will never become the person they want to be.
It is difficult to look deeply inside yourself. It is far easier to look at other people and see their faults and think about how they need to change or, worse, try to change them. But, when your focus is outside yourself, you dilute your power to make changes within yourself.
Jesus summed it up perfectly when He said, "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. "
The best gift you can give to your family, your business and yourself is your own self-development. Let's get started today.
~Dave Dee
P.S. Again, I would love to read your philosophy. Please post it, if you are so inclined.
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6 comments:
Dave,
As many of us on this quest for betterment have found, the hardest thing to do is look at yourself objectively. It takes courage, determination, and willpower, the "1st Trinity of change" if you will, and many of us are found lacking, one or all three. My personal philosophy includes faith, choices and love, what I believe is the the "2nd Trinity of change". No one person can do it alone, and you cannot skip any steps, change is always hard and slow, and that's why Americans loathe change!
The best post I have read in a while my friend, please, never give up, and I never will either!
Chuck Palm
Dave,
An excellent post. I have been reading your blog off and on over the year and today this one told me I need to read it.
I have been frustrated all my life trying to someone else. From teachers in Jr. High "Rory, you are not meeting your full potential," to well-meaning friends telling me that I need to do this or do that. And while I have no problem and have been handsomely for coaching and assisting others to be successful, I have rarely been the Dr. that takes his own medicine.
Today you held the mirror up and I took a look and realize that I need to take that medicine and "do as I say and do as I do.
Thanks,
Rory Sturm
Dave,
I've found that when I am seeing fault in someone else or focusing on what needs to change in them, that it's really "me talking to me."
When I find myself wanting to change someone else and I'm in a space of awareness, I can always find that thing I want to change within myself. Sometimes it's harder than others to find it within myself, but when I do the realization and growth is always profound.
I love you,
Alexis
Yes, I am inclined to post.
This statement is true and is “deeper” than what we read here on this post.
When I read this particular blog I instantly recalled an article I read some time ago by the unparalleled, super entrepreneur, Jim Straw.
“Knowledge is Power or is it”. In this intriguing piece Jim says, “If you learn nothing else, learn that information only becomes knowledge when you use it - and - the information you have used or failed to use in the past is the reason you are where you are today”.
In essence, Jim’s over all points in this great piece were strongly suggesting, personal self-development is the #1 gift you can give to anyone.
I am only thirty-five years of age, but by about the age of six, I knew I wanted to invest in my own personal self-development.
Keep in mind it was only seventy-two months earlier I was still in my mothers womb, so this said, I did not have a concept of the term “personal self-development”, but even then there was something innate deep down in me which has always pushed me with great urgency to do my part to always improve my personal self-development.
I vividly recall when I was eighteen, a couple of my then “mentors” informing me how after I hit the rip old age of twenty, everything will show its true colors and my positive attitude would fade.
Well age twenty came and went and it did not fade.
Then they strongly suggested, after I turned twenty-two…well nothing. Then twenty-five…my positive attitude, intensified. They stated, I was not living in the real world, everything is always positive, you never say anything bad about anyone and you won’t talk negative about anyone. David, you need to get real. We all speak and live in reality.
Well here it is twenty-nine years later and my passion to continually improve who and what I am (personal self-development) grows stronger everyday. Times have changed and with this so have many of my friends and acquaintances, but one thing still remains to this very day >>>
<<< People still tell me, “David you need to get a grip on reality. You are not living in the real world with the rest of us. With you everything is always positive, you never say anything bad about anyone and you won’t talk negative about anyone. David, you need to get real. We all speak and live in reality – except you.”
Note: One of the greatest books I read years ago which really helped me with my outlook on life is “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie.
With this said, my only “negative regret” is I often times feel alone. Because I am so up-beat and really have given myself the #1 gift of personal self-improvement. “Lets not invite David, we know he won’t want to gossip, etc.”
Family and those who you really want to consider friends are so negative it makes me want to get away, they find my positive outlook on life so “glumly.”
(Friday March 7, 2008 - - It is raining here today, in Maryland) Walking into the post office today, I greeted three people with “hello, how are you today” (I also, always wait for their response…I really do want to know what it is.
You ever notice most people will say hello and then quickly say in the same breath, how are you. They do not wait for you to speak…they scurry away…hummmm…why did they ask???)…anyway, I greet the people in-side the post office and all of them tell me its raining outside.
Now to this I can only think to myself “I feel like I am in a Seinfeld episode, only place I can imagine people would tell you something you already know, due to my wet cloths and dripping hair (I am laughing sooo hard)” or maybe in the entertaining mind of Steven Wright.
Well I say to them, “it is a beautiful day”, to which one lady looks at me with a nasty frown and says, “Yeah, if you’re a duck”. To this everyone, but me is giggling. I say in a mild, manner tone. “The sun is always shinning, if you stay above the clouds.”
You know after this one, not one negative peep.
So yes, I agree. Personal self-development is the #1 gift you can give to anyone.
I don't remember where I first came across this personal development idea, but it had a profound impact on me. It was that the self was a jewel; a jewel does not become more brilliant by what you add to it, but by removing whatever has settled onto it through time, and cutting away and polishing it to let it's natural brilliance shine through. Learning that I did not need to find something outside myself to complete myself was the most liberating idea I have encountered, and is the cornerstone of my philosophy.
Once I understood a very simple thing:
when your loved one passed away, it's too late to show him/her how much you love him/her.
If you concentrate on YOUR personal development, you can forget behind YOUR little problem to develop YOURSELF that there are those loved onecs and that nobody can assure you in this world that tomorrow will come before your or your loved onces death.
So, as for me, the most powerful personal development is to try to make everything possible to make others feel happy. Now, today, in this moment. Your children, your dog, your wife. Than your friends, your enemies. Let them become happy. It will be the result of your personal development.
Who understands it, has not need to judge, to dispute, to have consenses of others. It's a great feeling. Everything is clear. No doubt, no wish to fight ecc. Only piece and happyness.
Thank you for your email course. And to Dan Kennedy too.
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